Your 1:1 is coming up, the agenda is blank, and you're about to do what most people do on a quiet week: recap project status your manager could have read in a doc, or cancel the meeting. Both waste the one recurring slot where you have your manager's full attention.
This article gives you a five-part agenda for a quiet week, questions for three common situations, and a script for deciding whether to keep, shorten, or change the meeting. Prepare for five minutes before each 1:1 and you'll rarely arrive empty-handed. For cadence, career conversations, and everything beyond the quiet-week problem, see the full manager 1:1 operating manual.
The advice comes from Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor; Julie Zhuo, former VP of Design at Facebook; Camille Fournier, former CTO of Rent the Runway; Lane Shackleton, Chief Product Officer at Coda; Farhan Thawar, VP and Head of Engineering at Shopify; and executive coach Alisa Cohn, all interviewed on Lenny's Podcast.
Own the time and move status somewhere else
Kim Scott, who wrote Radical Candor, says the employee should set the agenda. If you sit back and wait for your manager to interview you, the meeting will feel like it has nothing in it.
Who owns the agenda. The player below is queued to 39:42, the exact moment Kim Scott says it. Watch on YouTube.
"Mostly a one-on-one should be your employee setting the agenda and your employee's time."
You don't have to invent a problem every week to own the agenda. Show up with a view on where a private conversation with your manager can actually help.
A useful default
Bring one win, one point of friction, one question about context, and one next step. If all four stay empty for several meetings in a row, raise the cadence question with your manager.
Lane Shackleton, Coda's Chief Product Officer, goes further: project discussion doesn't belong in the 1:1 at all. His reason is practical. Your engineering and design partners can't hear a private conversation, so your manager has to repeat it to them, and loses half the detail on the way.
Why project talk doesn't belong here. The player below is queued to 53:14, the exact moment Lane Shackleton says it. Watch on YouTube.
"A lot of work and project work tends to get discussed in one-on-ones. Actually, that's really an anti-pattern. It's a pattern you should try to avoid."
Put status in writing or bring it to the forum where every partner can hear it. That frees the 1:1 for the decisions, feedback, and context that actually need your manager.
Use this five-part agenda on a quiet week
The Mochary Method, the coaching curriculum Matt Mochary uses with startup CEOs, separates a 1:1 into accountability, coaching, and transparency. The habit to copy is preparation: write your items down before the meeting so the meeting itself goes to choices and commitments.
- Start with what is going well. Name one thing working at the company, on the team, or in your own work. This tells your manager what deserves reinforcement.
- Review your most important commitment. Did you do what you said you would do? If plans changed, explain the priority, dependency, or habit that changed them.
- Bring one point of friction. Write the issue, your contribution to it, and the move you recommend. Arriving with a recommendation lets you ask for help while showing your judgment.
- Ask for context or feedback. Use the private channel for what a dashboard can't tell you: what leadership cares about, how your work is landing, and where your manager wants more initiative from you.
- Close with a decision and an owner. Write down what you decided, who does what by when, and who else needs to hear it.
Bring the question only your manager can answer
Pick whichever of these fits your week. A quiet week is a chance to find more leverage, unblock a decision, or bring your manager into where you want your career to go.
When the work is going well
- What should I keep doing because it makes your job or the team's work easier?
- What is one responsibility I could take off your plate?
- Where would more initiative from me be useful?
- What is changing above our team that I should understand?
When you feel stuck
- Here is the issue as I see it. What context am I missing?
- I have tried A and B. My recommendation is C. What would you challenge?
- Which priority wins if both cannot ship?
- Who has solved a similar problem here, and could I talk to them?
When you want to grow
Julie Zhuo, who wrote The Making of a Manager after running design at Facebook, tells people to make their manager aware of their aspirations. A quiet week is a natural opening for that conversation, because nothing urgent is competing for the time.
Telling your manager where you want to go. The player below is queued to 1:06:02, the exact moment Julie Zhuo says it. Watch on YouTube.
"Make sure your manager is aware of those aspirations. Bring them into your hopes and dreams."
Name the direction you want, then ask what skills or evidence would make your manager confident you could succeed there.
- What would someone at the next level do differently in my current situation?
- What evidence would make you comfortable giving me more scope?
- Which skill would most improve my impact over the next quarter?
- Where am I waiting for direction when you expect me to make the call?
See what never comes up
Work Coach sits in your 1:1s and counts how many weeks in a row your career didn't come up. Next week's agenda gets built out of whatever you keep skipping.
Start Free Trial2-week trial, no credit card needed. Your data is never shared with your employer.
What to say when the agenda is genuinely empty
Say this
"I don't have a major project update today, so I'd like to use the time differently. I have one recent win, one thing creating friction, and a question about where I can create more leverage. Then I'd like to confirm my most important commitment before our next meeting."
This opening shows you understand what the meeting is for. It also saves your manager from inventing questions to fill the half hour.
Keep the meeting, shorten it, or change the cadence
Camille Fournier, who wrote The Manager's Path and was CTO of Rent the Runway, trims low-purpose peer and stakeholder meetings first and protects the recurring meeting with her manager and her direct reports.
Which meetings to protect. The player below is queued to 40:48, the exact moment Camille Fournier says it. Watch on YouTube.
"You should have one-on-ones with your direct reports and your manager, and you should hold those sacred. I try and tend to do mine weekly or maybe every other week."
She prefers weekly or every other week because continuity makes hard feedback and career conversations easier to start when they matter.
The honest counterpoint
Farhan Thawar, VP and Head of Engineering at Shopify, dropped scheduled 1:1s entirely and talks to people when a real problem shows up. Before you copy him, look at his conditions: 120 direct reports, constant in-person availability, pair programming, weekly demos, and plenty of other channels for feedback.
The case against the standing meeting. The player below is queued to 1:18:16, the exact moment Farhan Thawar says it. Watch on YouTube.
"Were all those one-on-ones useful? Once a week for three years?"
His setup works because feedback and access still flow through other channels. Use a pattern of empty agendas as a reason to revisit the cadence. Don't change anything after one quiet week.
Choose the next cadence
- Keep it: you need regular access, trust is still forming, or feedback tends to arrive late.
- Shorten it: continuity helps, and most weeks only need a decision or a quick check.
- Move to biweekly: several meetings have stayed light and you both have other reliable channels.
- Reschedule once: the week is genuinely quiet and the next meeting is already protected.
Say this
"We've had light agendas for the past month. Would biweekly give us enough continuity while making each conversation more substantial? I still want a reliable way to raise feedback or an urgent decision between meetings."
End with decisions, owners, and deadlines
Executive coach Alisa Cohn closes every meeting with three questions. The ritual takes seconds and keeps the same decision from coming back next week.
Three questions to end every meeting. The player below is queued to 50:29, the exact moment Alisa Cohn says it. Watch on YouTube.
"My three questions to end the meeting are: what did we decide here, who needs to do what by when, and who else needs to know?"
Write the answers in the shared doc before either of you leaves. Next week you both start from the commitments instead of trying to remember what you said.
A copyable template with a completed example
The template
Good: One thing going well for the company, team, or me
Commitment: What I completed; what changed; my next highest-value action
Friction: Issue → my contribution → proposed solution
Context: One question only my manager can answer
Feedback: One thing I appreciate; one thing I wish were different
Close: Decision → owner → deadline → who else needs to know
A quiet week, filled in
Good: The new customer handoff reduced repeat questions this week.
Commitment: I finished the rollout notes. Next I will measure adoption by Friday.
Friction: Product and Support use different escalation rules. I recommend one shared threshold and can draft it.
Context: Which customer segment matters most in the next planning cycle?
Feedback: Where would you like me to make the call without waiting for you?
Close: I draft the escalation rule by Thursday. My manager confirms the customer priority by Tuesday. Support and Product need the decision.
Frequently asked questions
Who should set the agenda for a 1:1?
Both people can contribute, but come ready to drive a meaningful part of the conversation yourself. A shared document makes ownership visible and keeps either person from carrying the whole meeting.
Is it bad to have nothing to discuss?
No. One quiet week is normal. A consistently empty agenda usually means updates belong elsewhere, the meetings are too frequent, or feedback and career topics haven't started coming up yet.
How long should a manager 1:1 be?
Thirty minutes is usually enough for a regular meeting with a prepared agenda. Difficult feedback, career planning, or a first meeting may need a separate, longer conversation.
The quiet-week checklist
Before the meeting
- Move project status into writing or the forum where every partner can hear it.
- Spend five minutes writing one win, one friction point with your proposed move, and one question only your manager can answer.
- Check your last commitment so you can report what happened.
In the meeting
- Open with what's going well, then review the commitment.
- Raise the friction with a recommendation attached.
- Ask your one private question: context, feedback, a decision, or career direction.
Before you leave
- Write down what was decided, who does what by when, and who else needs to know.
Over the next month
- Watch the pattern. Change the cadence only after several light meetings and a direct conversation about it.
Sources
- Lenny's Podcast: Radical Candor: From theory to practice, with Kim Scott (Dec 2023)
- Lenny's Podcast: What sets great teams apart, with Lane Shackleton (Oct 2023)
- Lenny's Podcast: Overcome imposter syndrome and accelerate your career, with Julie Zhuo (Jun 2022)
- Lenny's Podcast: The things engineers are desperate for PMs to understand, with Camille Fournier (Sep 2024)
- Lenny's Podcast: How Shopify builds a high-intensity culture, with Farhan Thawar (Dec 2024)
- Lenny's Podcast: Scripts for navigating difficult conversations, with Alisa Cohn (Jan 2025)
- The Mochary Method curriculum: one-on-one meeting template